The absence of memory

I needed to take my medicine, so I needed a drink. I wasn't thirsty, so I needed to eat something to grow a bit of thirst in me. I raided the freezer and stumbled upon a strawberry toaster strudel. I put it in the oven for a couple minutes to get it crispy, then nuked it for a few seconds to get it nice and warm. I delicately curled the line of icing on top to ensure each bite had an equal amount of sweetness. After inhaling the whole thing, I poured myself a tall cold glass of milk. The kind where you can feel the liquid soothe your inside as it descends the system with a touch of tranquility. I downed the glass in 3 seconds, placed it behind the "magic door" and went upstairs: thirst quenched, full belly, allergies and an ever forgetful mind.

Always at Last

Inspired by Pilgrim’s Progress July 2008

Youth said to Young Man, “I cannot love you the way I once did. You should go now and find a love that lasts, for I must leave you soon.”

Thankful for the warning, Young Man set out to find the love he sought. He soon met with Chance who proudly proclaimed “I will love you greatly…on occasion.”

But Young Man knew that this was not what he sought He traveled a bit further where he met with Addiction. “I will love you so much that you will be longing for more.” There was something enticing about this to Young Man. He was about to court Addiction when Rye-Catcher got in his way and showed Young Man Addiction’s ill intentions.

Young Man continued along his way until Addiction returned with her friend Rationalization. Young Man listened to Rationalization and began to think that it was okay to fall for Addiction. ‘It appears to work for others and I could always move on if it doesn’t work,’ Young Man thought

Unfortunately the love did not work for him, nor could he move on. He was stuck—run aground in his heartache.

Luckily, Starfish-Thrower came along and helped him back on his way. Young Man was eternally grateful for the helping hand.

Soon Young Man came upon the twins Lust and Love. Lust was more attractive and Young Man began to pursue her but thankfully Rye-Catcher returned and warned that Lust’s love would not satisfy.

Love then declared, “I will not leave you ‘til death do us part.” Young Man liked the sound of that and fell in love with Love.

And they were happy for a long time

Then both Young Man and Love began to feel as if something were still missing. They knew that it was not the love of Chance or Addiction or Lust, but they knew not what it was.

Young Man too began to wonder about Love’s promise to love ‘til death. How could he be sure? And what after? What is lasting and guaranteed?

Young Man then sought love from Friends, Athletics, and Education, but that love was fading.

He then sought his friend Happiness, who said “I can give you love often, if you would like.”

‘I would like that, but it is not what I was looking for,’ he thought.

“I think you are looking for my companion Joy.”

So Young Man met Joy. Joy proclaimed, “I can love you always.”

“Always? How do I know that?”

“Because I am from my father called I Am. Also the Potter, the Way, the Healer, the Truth. I am also called the Lamb, the Redeemer, the Lion, the Savior. I will love you always.”

Young Man thought, ‘Always, without a doubt. Always…Always at last!’

Untitled...

Nineteen may just be a number to most people, but to me, it is the evidence of free will. True, I was born on 9-19, and I was raised hearing "9:19 great time to be alive" but it is my choice to choose it as my favorite number. So here's to the number 19 and to a truly golden year.

7 years later

Do you remember when

You first did hear the news?

Do you remember when

You saw the fire crews?

Do you remember why

The smoke first filled the sky?

Do you remember why

The world began to cry?

Do you remember who

Was there when you first learned?

Do you remember who

Was lost when towers burned?

Do you remember what

You felt for the next week?

Do you remember what

You couldn’t even speak?

Do you remember where

The people heard the cries?

Do you remember where

The hope did then arise?

Do you remember how

Our love did never quit?

Do you remember how

We will never forget?

Bon Anniversaire

Katrina, 9/11, the tsunami, Tblisi, California land slides. Disasters, atrocities, fables. Good bedtime stories to scare the joy out of us, but still just fun little tales. Patriotism, compassion, brotherhood.

Hope.

Fading. Memories. Fables.

I am so tired of human nature. I am disgusted by my own self. We as a human race have this beautiful cycle we live in, just so we can have some constancy. Something bad happens. Real bad. But never really to us. We feel bad for the victims who have lost their homes, lives, and dignity. We pull together, sell armbands, have benefit concerts, eat the free food, feel better about ourselves and forget about the pain and the recovery. We live neither in the constant state of pain and fear or the constant state of togetherness and hope. We live in the cycle.

Maybe, just maybe if we lived in the second stage long enough, we could prevent the first stage. For a day or two, or maybe even a week, we look past race, sex, sexual orientation, religion, political party, and the mac/pc debate. We see others for what they really are: us with a different story. For a moment we care. For a moment each life is important.

Maybe if we could keep that mindset we could (like Sanctus Real) lay down our guns and lift our hands. Maybe if that moment extended a little longer, we could invest in better levees and response teams. Maybe if we weren't so distant from who we would like to be, we could do more for this world than throwing ourselves celebratory concerts for successfully raising awareness about the problems we are still causing!

Maybe if I lived up to my own words, I would chill out and realize that I haven't done anything either. Still it doesn't help to raise awareness that simply raising awareness does no good.

New Orleans, we still care.

And that's the decision from California...

My eyelids are heavy but the large Large Barq's is keeping me up. The exhaustion from biking to the beach, fighting the waves, and bikapading back, beckons me to my bed, but the continual flashbacks call me to relive the day.

"Isn't it nice to know that the lining is silver. Isn't it nice to know that we're golden"
~Relient K

In the midst of Hurricane Fay, a stint with sty, and a battle with allergies and acne I began to wonder...isn't it theoretically possible that we are devolving as a universe (getting younger, returning to simpler roots, etc.) and we simply remember the future...and not the past...

So for now I will fight the night, beat the heat, then rise and shine, for like Chuck and Cindy I am Lovin' Life

How 'bout you?

It's dangerous business walking out your front door

The rhythmic whir of the fan is lulling me out of my studies, so in an effort to reawaken I have decided to begin construction of my own window to the soul. So here I begin emptying my purse for all to see on this journey called life.

I invite you to join me.